THE OLD GUNFIGHTER
BY: Paul Tabbee
A young man in the Old West had set out to be the best gunfighter that ever pooped through hair...He'd sat in a saloon one night and happened to spot an old man who had the reputation of being one of the quickest gunfighters in his day.
The young man walked up to the old gunfighter
and told him of his dream The old gunfighter looked the youngster up and down, and then he finally said, 'I have a suggestion that's sure to help'
'Tell me !! Tell me', says the youngster
The old gunfighter says, 'Well, if you tie yer holster down a bit lower on yer leg, that might help'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter ?' the youngster asked..
The old man says, 'It surely will..'
The young man did as he was told, quickly drew his pistol and shot the bow tie off the piano player. The youngster says, 'Wow !!.. That makes a big difference.. you got any more suggestion ?? '
The old man says, 'Well, if you cut a notch in your holster where the hammer hits, yer pistol will come out a lot smoother..'
'Will that make me a better gunfighter?', the youngster asked..
'Definitely', says the old man...
So's the young man pulled out his knife and cut a notch in his holster just where the old man had said he should. Then he dropped his Colt back in his holster and drew it with lightning speed, shooting a cuff-link off the piano player.."Man, this is really helping me out Sir.. is there anything else you can share me ??'
'One more thing', says the old gunfighter, ' Get that bucket of axle grease over there in the corner and rub that stuff all over yer pistol'
The youngster didn't hesitate, he dipped a gob of grease from out of the bucket and covered the barrel of his pistol with the axle grease..
'Nope', says the old man, 'everything on that Colt, handle and all..'
'This gonna make me a better gunfighter ?', the youngster asked...
'Nope', the old gunfighter replies, 'But, when ol' Matt Warner finishes playin' that pianer, he's gonna shove that .45 up yer ass...That way there, it won't hurt so much..'